No more

Friends, I have no more ideas, no more strength, no more power, no more hope…
Have you ever been so desperate that you not only didn’t know what to do anymore, but even didn’t know how to stand 1 more minute of your life?
If I was still a therapist, I would say I am suicidal, at least severely depressed.

So tired of it all, so sick of every single area of my life, so fed up with trying, trying, trying to get out of this mess and never, ever getting anywhere.

I have been doing spiritual warfare for many years now and THE LORD has decided to not deliver me from the horrific attacks from this warlock who has been terrorizing me day and night – for almost 6 years now…
I have also been campaigning against him online a lot, on facebook, here on wordpress with different blogs, have been writing emails to many people, including him, of course…now, that was probably the least effective and most stupid thing to do, because it would mean that he himself would stop his evil witchcraft and that’s never going to happen, I shouldn’t even try to rely on him for this to stop. If you think about it, it is really dumb and ridiculous at the same time to ask the devil not to be such a devil anymore – would laugh about it if it wasn’t so sad!

If only I wasn’t so desperate and SO ready to get rid of all this satanic poison!

The most burning question I have is: Why is GOD not helping me?

I have done all I could think of to please him, to ask for forgiveness, for wisdom, I have been fasting, have been praying, have been reading all I could find about demons, deliverance, spiritual warfare, I have been playing THE WORD over me day and night for many months now, as you all know, I walked the camino for HIM…

I know that we are not saved by our deeds, but by grace.

But me, I do believe that my soul has been saved, but here, in this life, my body, my mind, all my circumstances, I have not been delivered at allup to now.

I have repented of all my sins, I have forgiven everyone, even this monster, for all his past and future attacks –  I have even told him, have made it clear that I am not angry and not condemning him as a person, but the demons, which drive him.

And yet, no answer from GOD.
Not even a reason.
Not even a condition or a word about what HE would want from me until HE would help me…

Nothing.

I am so edgy, totally upset, even though I know it is demons who make me so restless, even though I know it is an attack from the devil and even though I know that this means that my breakthrough is near, even though I know that my enemy, this warlock, is trying to make me freak out and that he is trying to kill me, I don’t know how much more I can take, how much longer I can stand… I can’t find any release, and neither will JESUS release me.

If I could, I would run away, but I don’t know where to and how…

I have been praying and praying and praying.

I have also asked the deliverance ministry I am listening to to pray for me… it is not the first time I did that…

Currently, what the enemy does is working!!!

I am desperate, extremely sad, depleted, hopeless.

Today, other than usual, I am not going to pray that THE LORD would bless you all reading this – I mean I always hope HE will! – but I am going to ask you to pray for me!

I am in desperate need of spiritual help and support and deliverance from this devil and from what he can do to all areas of my life…
I literally HATE my life –  there is nothing I can manage to be grateful for, nothing I can persuade myself to look forward to, nothing I can trick myself into liking or appreciating… if you knew how I currently live, what the only life I have been able to maintain ever since this devil has taken and destroyed all I ever had –  if you knew what my current life looks like, you knew why…

Please pray for me my friend.
Pray that THE LORD would grant me a better life!
That HE would hear my prayers!
In JESUS’ name.

Thank you!

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